Gettin’ Ready for the State Fair with Roy

Roy D. Mercer’s latest book is all about the State Fair. As anyone who has ever lived in or near a trailer park can tell you, the State Fair is a big event and it requires plenty of planning and not a little fundraising to properly celebrate the fair!

Lucky for us, Roy keeps a little journal just for himself. It started as an attempt to keep track of all the many secret fishing holes and bait recipes he discovered over the years. Roy also takes a few notes about major events in his life, like the coming of the State Fair every fall.

We pulled all his Fair observations together and created a small book for a quick read. It’s only 99 cents over at the Amazon.

Here’s an excerpt to wet your whistle.

 September 5Image

Heard a great new song on the radio today. Something ‘bout, “It’s a mighty good life when you gotta good wife that’s honeycured.”

We’s doin’ the best we can with what we got, I reckon. All in all I’d say we had us a good week. Got me a new satellite dish. Well, actually, it ain’t a real store bought one. It’s one me and Raymond pieced together out of the guts of an old dish and one of the 57 triple-D fiberglass cups Sharon Gene wears under her chest protecter when she’s umpin’ softball. Gets 57 channels, but for some reason all of ‘em are Fox. Maybe it needs some adjustment.

Speakin’ of Sharon Gene, she’s been a-fastin’ this week. Doin’ perdy good, really. Now she’s down to just two in-between-meal snacks. Tryin’ to shed her a few pounds off before the fair starts next weekend. Last year she got so big from the weight she gained down there she made the punkin on her Halloween sweatshirt look like a nectarine.

And Lateesha’s gettin’ ready for the fair, too. She started buyin’ them generic cigarettes about two months ago and savin’ the extry money so she could get on that mechanical claw and win us enough turquoise jack-knives to give all the nieces and nephews for Christmas.

ImageGot out and fished a time or two this week. First time I got out was back on – I know it weren’t Monday ‘cause that was the day Bon Jovi ate one of the neighbor’s Guinea hens and spent the afternoon howlin’ tryin’ to pass all the feathers. So it musta been Tuesday.

Went down to a pond on Lou Smoltz’s place. Lou’s the little wirey old feller that used to have the hogs down there. And then he went up north for a while and had some kindy fight with the Irish up there. Now he’s down here tryin’ to train a bunch of fightin’ gamecocks.

Done perdy good at his pond. Caught three or four bass big as a Sunday newspaper down there on nothin’ but BBQ Corn Nuts that had soaked overnight in buttermilk.

Then Wednesday, I went over to Cousin Doyle’s house to get his share of the money we’re collectin’ to send Mammaw Upshaw to a Winston Cup race next year for her 70th birthday. Got to talkin’ and me and him ended up down there on Lake Hershey-Squirta. That’s Crow. It means “brave who gathers many leaves.” Went down there and run Doyle’s trotlines. Caught two mud cats and then had to come in cause of all the drizzlin’. Doyle’s boys are all talented. They’ve got them a singin’ group called End Stink.

And yesterday, I’s havin’ a cup a coffee and a maple log down there to C.C. Berryman’s Cafe. C.C. was tellin’ me how he was draggin’ brim the size of truck batteries from down there off the middle finger of Divorce Creek. For some reason it’s kindy like real divorce, except when you’re fishin’ in Divorce Creek, after your bait’s dead, the fish’ll finally quit bitin’.

Roy D. Mercer’s ‘State Fair Follies’ Delivers More Laughs Than a Car Full of Clowns

Roy D. Mercer is best known for his colorful phone calls and threats of ass whuppin’s and pop knots, but people who really know Roy realize there’s more to him than misunderstandings. There’s family, there’s fishing, and there’s the State Fair!

The State Fair comes through in the fall, and it’s a magical time of year for so many in the double-wide community. The stars all align with great weather for football, fishing and fair going – it’s a redneck triple score!

State Fair Follies CoverLucky for us, our friend Roy keeps himself a little journal to document his colorful life. It is a great pleasure to share the state fair adventures of the Mercer clan, especially Roy, his wife Sharon Gene, son Raymond, and step-daughter Lateesha. And, of course, Lateesha’s dog, Bon Jovi.

Roy does love to recount the antics of his kids.

“These kids of mine … I swear, sometimes I feel like a daddy and other times I feel more like a chimp handler on a Tarzan movie,” Roy said. “But I guess all kids is that way. One minute they make you so proud of ‘em you cain’t hardly stand it. Next thing you know you catch ‘em lightin’ firecrackers in their teeth and playin’ chicken.”

I believe there’s even a mention or two of Kelly Gene and maybe Merva Gene. Roy is dedicated to his family, even when it’s his wife’s.

“Sharon Gene’s cousin Perlene’s bursitis flared up. And wouldn’t you know it, it’s right before the finals in the all-round blacksmith contest,” Roy said. “I think she had a perdy good chance, too. You see, Perlene had perfected her a way to blow air in just the right place so a horse would lift up its own foot so you could speed-shoe it usin’ both hands. Don’t know why I couldn’t of met that side of the family first.”

For those fans of Roy’s fishing stories, never fear, even the fair can’t keep Roy out of the water. He includes a few fishing trips, secret fishing holes, and maybe even some bait master secrets.

It’s always something at the Mercer trailer and there’s nothing like the state fair to get the house apes out and into the action.

boots (2)State Fair Follies is a short book, perfect for bathroom reading or waiting for a doctor visit. It’s 30 or so pages of Mercer zaniness. It is currently only 99 cents. For a full length book, check out Roy’s “Fishin’ Tales,” available as e-book for $4.99 or trade paperback for only $8.99 thanks to a sale on Amazon.

State Fair Follies at Amazon

Fishin’ Tales at Amazon

Dairy Surprised, Hand Illustrated Children’s e-Book, Free May 22-23 on Amazon plus free Activity Book

Adventures of Sawyer & Finn

Adventures of Sawyer & Finn

Welcome to Sawyer and Finn, two little mouse cousins who live in the barn on a dairy farm. They have a grand adventure one Saturday in the barn with their friends Sam the horse and Polly the cow. They learn a thing or two about dairy products while they are at it.

“It’s Saturday, and anything can happen on Saturday,” says Saywer, a little mouse with a special talent.

To celebrate the launch of this new children’s book line, Lakehouse Publishing is offering the e-book for free download May 22 and 23 through Amazon. The e-book is normally value-priced at $2.99.

Both the e-book and paperback versions are fully illustrated with color drawings to keep the action lively.Finn laughs

Dairy Surprised, the first book in the of Sawyer & Finn Series, published by Lakehouse Publishing. The Sawyer & Finn books all include “A Twist of Science in Every Tale!”

In addition to the adventure story, the book includes Dairy Facts, Cow Facts, and directions for an age-appropriate science experiment.

The books also contain links back to the Dairy Surprised Activity Book, available for free download from Lakehouse Publishing. Download the Activity Book, with 12 pages of puzzles and coloring pages free now. It’s a safe PDF file with no cookies or spam links, ever.

So download the activity book from the link above, then swing by Amazon for the free color children’s adventure story, Dairy Surprised!, written by Amazon bestselling author Ann Chambers and illustrated by her son Anthony D. Chambers.

 

 

Dairy Surprised, Illustrated Children’s Book, Makes Science Fun With Farm Adventure

Dairy Surprised, a fun little book telling the adventures of two little mice, is now available on Amazon as an e-book or paperback.

The Adventures of Sawyer and Finn

A Twist of Science in Every Tale!

Adventures of Sawyer & Finn

Adventures of Sawyer & Finn

Sawyer and Finn are mice living in Farmer Huckleberry’s barn. They are cousins and best friends.

Dairy Surprised tells the story of their adventures one Saturday with Sam the horse and Polly the cow. Sawyer and Finn explore the barn and learn about cows and dairy products.

“It’s Saturday, and anything can happen on Saturday!” says Sawyer.

The book is fully illustrated with hand drawn and colored pictures throughout.

Suitable for children ages 4 to 8, Dairy Surprised includes educational material with more dairy and butter facts, a related science experiment for kids (with adult supervision), and links to Sawyer & Finn puzzles and coloring pages available for free download.

Finn waveDairy Surprised is currently exclusive to Amazon and costs only $2.99 for the e-book or $7.99 for the full-color paperback.

We are adding coloring pages and puzzles to the Lakehouse Publishing website, starting today! Click on the link to download any you would like. Lakehouse does not collect your information and would never allow any spam or cookies.

Coloring pages:

Finn Laughs

Sawyer Swims

Sawyer & Mom Coloring Page

Word Find Puzzles:

Sawyer & Finn Word Find

Farmer Huckleberry Puzzle

Download and enjoy! We’ll be adding more puzzles and coloring pages to the website and creating a special page for Sawyer & Finn’s adventures in the next couple of weeks. So be sure to bookmark us and come visit again.

 

 

 

MommaSaysRead Recommends Mortal Choices, Murder Mystery

Murder mystery Mortal Choices is bringing great reviews. We wanted to share the latest, from a great website called MommaSaysRead.

What does Momma have to say about Mortal Choices? She says Read!

MORTAL WEB small“Mortal choices is definitely a great read! I found the book to be a little gruesome in the beginning but its necessary to the book and really not gratuitous. It’s a very fast-paced book so be prepared to read this one cover to cover. It is a great mystery and kept me reading to the very end. The writing is very well done. You can tell that the author is a seasoned writer as it is well proofed and edited, which is always a bonus.

“I liked that I was kept guessing – duh, I like mystery. But Mortal Choices doesn’t drag or slow down at all. The story didn’t feel at all contrived. It was fresh and intriguing.

“I would definitely recommend It anyone who is up for a fast-pace deep mystery.”

The Mortal e-book is only $2.99 and the paperback $9.99 at any major online e-book retailer.

If you haven’t heard of MommaSaysRead yet, check out the website. It is full of free and bargain books, book reviews, author reviews and more. They are also preparing to do a huge book giveaway.

There are a good number of websites tracking free and bargain books, but Momma has one of the cleanest and easiest to navigate. So stop by and have a look.

 

Spring Sale – Mortal Choices, Murder Mystery, Only 99 Cents This Week

March 4-8 Mortal Choices will be on sale at Amazon and Barnes and Noble for only 99 cents, e-book version only. The paperback is only $9.99.

If you enjoy a good mystery, grab this one while it’s on sale.

MORTAL WEB largeMortal Choices tells the tale of journalist Amanda Miller and police detective Terry Walkingstick as they join forces to hunt down a local serial killer.

The book is bringing in great reviews, like:

Goodreads

This was an awesomely written and laid out book. Well thought out and well put together. I loved the easy breezy read of this mystery/thriller. It is the type of book you take with you on vacation because it’s easy to read and you’ll probably plow through it in just a few hours.
I loved the setting for the book, the author did a good job of describing it, without spending too much time there and bogging us down. Recommended highly for thriller readers.

Goodreads - Cynthia Harris

Take one reporter, add a rookie detective, multiply by disappearing people, minus the sale of human organs, equals Mortal Choices.
To make the story more realistic, Newcomb did research in the inner workings of the police force and in aviation. An interview with a retired police detective and questions answered by active police officers gave insight to the workings of the local police department and a glimpse into the work of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).

See Mortal Choices on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008RLL9HM

Or Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mortal-choices-ann-chambers/1114606568?ean=2940016285627

Here’s the book summary:

Fire destroys without conscience.
It burns victims to ashes and evidence to dust.

Amanda Miller, an inquisitive journalist, is looking for distraction from a troubled home life when she crosses paths with Detective Terry Walkingstick, newly promoted and eager to prove himself.
Local police have just linked the disappearance of several area residents. A task force is created to investigate, but no one yet realizes a killer is hunting on the quiet suburban streets, snatching his victims without witnesses and seemingly at random.
When Terry and Amanda join forces, following the scant leads available, they discover what may be the elusive link between the missing people. Can a decades-old fire really be the connection? And why do so many trails lead back to a local funeral home? Was a cunning serial killer forged in that fire?
The couple’s independent investigation uncovers leads and evidence, landing them in the middle of the case and in a killer’s crosshairs.

Touchdown Treats Free on Amazon, Barnes & Noble & iTunes

As a special promotion, Touchdown Treats! is free to download from major online e-bookstores until the end of March.

Touchdown Treats! is a cookbook filled with 50 quick & easy dips and cheese ball recipes for great party spreads.

TouchdownTreats (2) (427x640)These taste sensations will make your next party the most delicious ever! Tried-and-true recipes for tantalizing treats will turn heads and delight your guests.

You’ll be dancing in the end zone once your family and friends try these kicked-up dishes!

Perfect for game day or other occasions when you need appetizers — like Thanksgiving, Christmas parties, New Year’s Eve, Super Bowl parties, or even birthday parties.

Don’t be caught off sides with a boring old dip ever again.

Dips are a standard offering at any casual party because they are easy to prepare, fun and delicious to eat, and they can be easily expanded to serve any number of people. Unfortunately, there are a handful of acceptable but not fabulous dips that are standards at most parties.

These recipes will explode your dip choices with fun and fantastic new choices. Spice up your menu with these new ideas.

This book doesn’t contain every single dip ever invented, making you sort through hundreds of recipes to find a good one. It contains a handful of gems that will soon become your new favorites. Only 99 cents.

See Touchdown Treats! at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Apple!

 

Win a Copy of Roy D. Mercer’s Fishin’ Tales on Goodreads

Lakehouse Publishing is giving away 3 paperback copies of Roy D. Mercer’s Fishin’ Tales on Goodreads. To win, just fill out a little form and wait. The giveaway ends March 19.

Fishin' TalesIf you can’t wait a whole month to have a copy, it’s available in e-book or paperback format at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Roy D. Mercer is best known for his colorful phone calls and threats of ass whuppin’s and pop knots, but people who really know Roy realize there’s more to him than misunderstandings. There’s family and there’s fishing.

Few people are aware that Roy keeps a journal filled with observations about his family and his fishing trips. This book shares his tales about life in the double wide with his wife Sharon Gene, son Raymond, and step-daughter Lateesha. And of course, Lateesha’s dog, Bon Jovi.

As Roy says, “There always seems to be a ruckus goin’ around here. There was a time when I could settle ‘em down. But then the druggist started gettin’ suspicious at how much Nyquil we’s buyin’.”

It’s always something at the Mercer trailer.

“We just got back from a funeral. Sharon Gene’s cousin, Kelly Gene. His poor mamma was a dislessic and she always thought she named him after the dancer. Died of lime disease. Not from a tick bite, though. No, Kelly Gene was down in Quarez on a Tequila bender and as near as them Mexican doctors could tell, he sucked so many limes, he puckered his windpipe shut and assphixinated. Bad case of lime disease,” said Roy.

There are plenty of homemaking and child rearing tidbits here, but don’t miss out on all of Roy’s great fishing tips and tricks.

Roy doesn’t hold with store-bought bait. He prefers to make his own and he gives out some of the recipes in this book, like:

“Went out there and caught two or three perdy good-sized bass. Done it on some bait I made out of out-of-date biscuit dough, Cocoa Pebbles, and the run-off oil from a can of tuna fish.” You just can’t buy that kind of wisdom at the bait shop.

He also tells of some of his favorite fishing holes while recounting fishing trips with his many fishing buddies.

“Back on Tuesday, me and Raymond went and trickled off down the right leg of Wet Trouser Creek. If you get one of them lake and stream maps, it shows up on that thing as three or four little dark spots that trails off just south of the Tee-Tee River,” Roy says. “I did alright, but Raymond didn’t catch a thing. I told him it was ‘cause of the way he was workin’ his worm. You know usually you want to work a worm slowly back towards you, but for some reason, down on wet trouser creek, to catch anything you got to really give your worm a good shakin’.”

So dive on into Roy’s world and learn the true country way to reel in baskets of fish and deal with family trials and tribulations.

 

About the Author

It’s long been legend that Roy D. Mercer was conceived under a shower of welding sparks and now, it seems that legend may actually be fact. Here’s the story as told in Roy’s own words.

RedWhite&BruisedCD“Mama and Daddy was working on the Hoover Dam back in the late ‘20s or early ‘30s. Daddy was a welder and Mama hauled them weldin’ rods. You know there’s just something about two folks up on a scaffolding by theyselves. It’s hot and they got them big weldin’ goggles on and such, and nature just took its course.

“They was a team, welder and weld-rod holder. Course she held more than just his weld-rod from what I understand. I come out nine months later with a full-growed set a teeth and doubled up fists.”

Roy’s latest CD Red, White & Bruised was released in January and is available at all major online music retailers. It’s chock full of funny phone calls. Check it out on Amazon.

 

 

Enchilada Casserole Update – Even Better

I shared Jan’s much requested Enchilada Casserole recipe here last fall. But when I tried to make it, it just wasn’t quite right. It was delicious, but Jan’s was still better. So I went back to the source and picked up a couple of tips (and secrets). So I’m updating the recipe and adding pictures. I actually remembered to get the camera out when I was making it the other day.

Here’s the new version of the recipe. If you haven’t tried it – put it on your grocery list. Your family will thank you! The batch in the photos is a double batch. It reheats wonderfully.

Jan’s Enchilada Casserole

1 pound ground beef

1 medium onion (chopped)

1 small can green chilis (chopped)

1 can medium-flavor enchilada sauce

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 soup can of milk

1/2 bag tortilla chips (crushed)

Grated mild cheese (cheddar or Colby Jack)

1/8 to ¼ teaspoon chili powder

1/8 to ¼ teaspoon garlic powder

Brown ground beef with onion. Drain grease. Add in and stir together: enchilada sauce, green chilis, soups, and milk.

In a large casserole dish or Dutch oven, layer tortilla chips, meat mixture, then cheese. Repeat layers.

Bake at 350 until heated through. Time needed will depend on size of dish and depth of layers. Generally takes at least 45 minutes. It’s good to get the casserole bubbly hot and the cheese browning.

Notes: Can be made with a large can of green chilis. Recipe can be doubled for large groups.

We don’t usually use brand-names in recipes, so feel free to use any brands you like, but we prefer Old El Paso Medium Enchilada Sauce and Doritos chips in this dish.

Casserole reheats nicely in the microwave.

This casserole is not very spicy. For more heat, add some diced jalapeños or some hot pepper sauce.

If you love quick and easy Mexican food, check out 25 Quick & Easy Quesadilla Recipes. It’s full of delicious ideas and only 99 cents at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes, or Kobo.

 

Fishin’ Tales Paperback Now Available

The paperback version of Roy D. Mercer’s Fishin’ Tales is now available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It sure is a pretty thing!

Fishin' TalesThe e-book is available on Amazon, and should soon be available at all the major e-tailers.

See the paperback on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. The e-book is on Amazon as well.

Fishin’ Tales is chock full of Roy’s down-home wisdom and observations, plus a fishing tip or two.

The book is already bringing in some great reviews. Here are a couple of our favorites.

“After I read it, I was happier than a kid with an All-Day sucker and two tongues.”  – Doodles Weaver

“A pack of lies! This whole thing smells fishy.”  – Milton Clump

“Roy rote a book? Makes about as much sense as a chimp doing brain surgery.”  – Dingo Malone

“It’s a 55 gallon drum of Horse-hockey!”  – Fleet Southcott

 

Roy D. Mercer is best known for his colorful phone calls and threats of ass whuppin’s and pop knots, but people who really know Roy realize there’s more to him than misunderstandings. There’s family and there’s fishing.

Few people are aware that Roy keeps a journal filled with observations about his family and his fishing trips. This book shares his tales about life in the double wide with his wife Sharon Gene, son Raymond, and step-daughter Lateesha. And of course, Lateesha’s dog, Bon Jovi.

As Roy says, “There always seems to be a ruckus goin’ around here. There was a time when I could settle ‘em down. But then the druggist started gettin’ suspicious at how much Nyquil we’s buyin’.”

It’s always something at the Mercer trailer.

“We just got back from a funeral. Sharon Gene’s cousin, Kelly Gene. His poor mamma was a dislessic and she always thought she named him after the dancer. Died of lime disease. Not from a tick bite, though. No, Kelly Gene was down in Quarez on a Tequila bender and as near as them Mexican doctors could tell, he sucked so many limes, he puckered his windpipe shut and assphixinated. Bad case of lime disease,” said Roy.

There are plenty of homemaking and child rearing tidbits here, but don’t miss out on all of Roy’s great fishing tips and tricks.

Roy doesn’t hold with store-bought bait. He prefers to make his own and he gives out some of the recipes in this book, like:

“Went out there and caught two or three perdy good-sized bass. Done it on some bait I made out of out-of-date biscuit dough, Cocoa Pebbles, and the run-off oil from a can of tuna fish.” You just can’t buy that kind of wisdom at the bait shop.

He also tells of some of his favorite fishing holes while recounting fishing trips with his many fishing buddies.

“Back on Tuesday, me and Raymond went and trickled off down the right leg of Wet Trouser Creek. If you get one of them lake and stream maps, it shows up on that thing as three or four little dark spots that trails off just south of the Tee-Tee River,” Roy says. “I did alright, but Raymond didn’t catch a thing. I told him it was ‘cause of the way he was workin’ his worm. You know usually you want to work a worm slowly back towards you, but for some reason, down on wet trouser creek, to catch anything you got to really give your worm a good shakin’.”

So dive on into Roy’s world and learn the true country way to reel in baskets of fish and deal with family trials and tribulations.

 

About the Author

boots (2)It’s long been legend that Roy D. Mercer was conceived under a shower of welding sparks and now, it seems that legend may actually be fact. Here’s the story as told in Roy’s own words.

“Mama and Daddy was working on the Hoover Dam back in the late ‘20s or early ‘30s. Daddy was a welder and Mama hauled them weldin’ rods. You know there’s just something about two folks up on a scaffolding by theyselves. It’s hot and they got them big weldin’ goggles on and such, and nature just took its course.

“They was a team, welder and weld-rod holder. Course she held more than just his weld-rod from what I understand. I come out nine months later with a full-growed set a teeth and doubled up fists.” 

 

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