A Christmas Letter from Roy D. Mercer

Fishin' TalesRoy is so excited about his new e-book that he’s been on a writing spree. Once I explained the difference between a Kindle and kindling, he’s taken to e-books like a natural.

He wrote me a sweet e-mail letter this morning and I thought I’d share it with our blog visitors because it includes one of his favorite fishing baits. That Roy is such an original. It’s nice to hear that his family, including his wife Sharon Gene, son Raymond, and step-daughter Lateesha are all getting in the holiday spirit. Christmas does bring families closer together, especially when they live in a trailer.

Anyway, here’s Roy’s letter.

Sharon Gene’s Christmas gift came in the mail this mornin’. I ordered her a Ray Stevens video tape. I had to check it to be sure it’s not the one with “I Spotted Elvis in a UFO.” She got that one last year from that feller Yurgen, the foreign exchange student from Sweden she saved from heat prostration. He passed out down at the lake and Sharon Gene knelt down next to him and gave him shade til he cooled off.

 I tell you what, I think she’s gained weight since then. Hell, last week she crossed her legs while she was getting’ a thigh wrap and broke the therapist/s arm in two places.

 I’m so glad I ordered the right video. That’s the last of my Christmas shoppin’ except for getting’ Raymond’s waders out of the lay-a-way and pickin’ up Lateesha’s chastity belt from the foundry. We’re tryin’ to stop her from bringin’ joy to the world, one man at a time.

 She come in the other night with so many hickeys on her she looked like she got caught under the mistletoe at the Arkansas athletic dorm.

 Even with all the Season’s Greasins, I been out fishin’ a couple times this week. I been down to Onus Redding’s covered dock on the bay. Been tryin’ to get Raymond to come with me, but he’s so hard headed, he won’t do what a 1,000 people tell him to do.

 I caught a couple of bass on my lucky bait. Well, when it’s this cold, I don’t even use a hook. I just tie a little candy cane on my line after I’ve sucked a sharp point on the short end. Works perdy good. That’s how I caught Sharon Gene. The one that won’t go away.

 Huh-oh. She heard her name and she’s comin’ this way. She’s got that look in her eye like she wants a little Christmas goose after the kids leave the house. I hope she don’t climb onto my lap. This bar stool ain’t gonna hold both of us!

For more of Roy’s family tales and fishing tips, check out his brand spankin’ new e-book at Amazon, http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AIH65L8.